A Lap To Sit On
by NoDaybutTooDay
Summary: Five times Kurt was forced to sit on someone's lap, and one time he wanted to.


_Five times Kurt was forced to sit in someone's lap, and one time that he wanted to._

5. There were exactly twelve members of New Directions. When they had left the choir room yesterday, there had been a plethora of chairs. Today, there were ten. Artie didn't need a chair, since he had his own, but that left one member with out someplace to sit. Kurt had been raised a gentleman and told the other guys in no uncertain terms that the women were ALL to have chairs. That left four chairs and five guys. They all looked at each other and then Finn, Puck, Matt, and Mike began wrestling.

"Will you Neanderthal's stop it? I'll just stand." Kurt huffed.

"You could sit on the floor." Finn suggested. He was suddenly glad that looks couldn't kill because otherwise, he was pretty sure he'd be dead.

"Finn, this is Marc Jacobs. I am NOT sitting on the ground." He rolled his eyes and straightened his jacket. "I'm fine standing."

Suddenly, he felt himself topple over and land on a lap. He looked up to see Brittany. "Sit with me." She reached up and kissed his cheek. "My favorite dolphin cannot sit on the ground."

Kurt blushed to the roots of his hair, but had to grin at Brittany. He shifted so he was comfortable and settled in for the Glee practice.

4. "Dude, it's fine." Finn said.

"Don't call me dude." Kurt growled angrily. "Seriously, Dad, you had to bring all of this? Can't we make two trips?"

Burt had enlisted the help of Finn and Kurt that afternoon. He needed some new parts for a car he was working on. Instead of ordering them and waiting for them to come, another garage had them and told Burt he could come pick it up. Unfortunately, they hadn't realized they wouldn't all fit in the bed of the truck. While the trip there with the three of them on the front bench seat had been fine, now there was extra stuff in the cab as well, and Kurt was going to have to sit on Finn to get home.

"It's a half hour drive. I'm not wasting the rest of my day and all this gas." Kurt glared as hard as he knew how, but his dad was one of the few immune to the Kurt Hummel Death Stare. Finally, admitting defeat, Kurt climbed in and onto Finn's lap.

"We do not tell ANYBODY about this."

3. Mike was a great choreographer. But why he thought that the Glee Club members needed to do part of their latest dance sitting on each other's laps was completely beyond Kurt. He had been paired with Mercedes, as usual.

"Oh, hell no, I am not sitting on your lap." Mercedes said.

"Thank you." Kurt replied sarcastically.

"Look at you, I'm like, double your size, I'm going to crush you. You can sit on my lap."

Mike thought it was a great idea. In fact, it was so great, he changed all the choreography, making all the guys sit on the girls laps. Which he then had to promptly change again, as Rachel cried out in pain when Finn settled on her and Artie couldn't sit on anyone's lap.

It ended up with Kurt on Mercedes, Puck on Santana, and Mike on Tina, while Rachel was on Finn, Brittany was on Artie, and Quinn was on Sam. Kurt would never admit, ever, that the dance ended up looking amazing.

2. "But I'm not a baby!" Six year old Kurt Hummel protested.

"But you're my baby!" His mom said, nuzzling her nose in his neck and making him giggle despite himself.

"Why do I have to sit on your lap?" He asked.

"Because mommy wants one last picture where she's holding you." He gave in, he always did when it came to his mom. Years later, he understood that she wasn't telling him he would be too big to do this next year, but that she wouldn't be around then. She wanted to make sure he had one last picture of them together. The picture never left his dresser.

2. When Kurt was ten, his father took him to a baseball game. Kurt was miserable. He was too cold, he was too hot, there was nothing good he could eat. Why were those idiot men wearing stirrup pants, don't they have any fashion sense. And worst of all, when Kurt got up to go the bathroom, the team they were cheering for scored a touch down and the guy in the row behind him spilled soda all over Kurt's seat. Kurt ended up sitting in his dad's lap for another inning. Finally, Burt acquiesced that Kurt was not and would not enjoy himself and they left.

1. Brittany was not Kurt's first foray into heterosexual experimentation. When Kurt was thirteen, he tried dating Rachel Barry. She invited him over and they were alone on the couch, Rachel sitting on his lap, kissing him. It was doing absolutely nothing for either of them. "Maybe we should switch? You sit on me?" She suggested.

It was a good a plan as any and they did. But after another couple smooches, they simply realized they were not meant to be. "You want to watch Victor/Victoria?" Rachel suggested. Kurt's eyes lit up.

"Yes!" He said, and they scampered off to watch the movie. When Kurt began singing along with the Julie Andrews part, Rachel suddenly realized that Kurt was much more like her dad's than she thought. She invited him to stay for dinner.

+1. Burt Hummel had been home from the hospital for four weeks. Add that to the nine days he was in the hospital, and you had one very run down, ragged, exhausted Kurt. His father had stopped snapping at him and Kurt had stopped hovering…well, he had toned it down.

Kurt came home from school one day, limping. Kurt was good at hiding whatever had happened, but apparently this day he couldn't. "Who do I need to shoot?" Burt asked, making Kurt smile.

"Karofsky and Azimio." Kurt sighed.

"What happened?" Burt asked.

"They threw me in the dumpster again and when I was trying to get out, I landed wrong and rolled my ankle." Kurt didn't run home and tell his father everything that happened. But if Burt knew something was wrong, well, Kurt had learned the hard way it was better not to hide things from his father.

"What can I do?" Burt asked.

"Could you get me an ice pack and some Aleve?" Kurt's face was really showing the pain now. He grabbed onto some furniture and made his way over to the couch, sinking onto it gratefully. Burt took a mental note that his son was asking him for things, which meant the kid was really hurt. He'd give him a half an hour before he suggested the Emergency Room. He hurried to get what Kurt needed, also grabbing a towel to wrap the ice pack in. Kurt hated cold things. He got a glass of water and moved over to him. "Thanks Dad." Kurt choked.

"Can I sit with you?" Burt asked. Kurt was currently sitting long ways on the couch, his swollen ankle stretched out in front of him and propped up on a pillow.

"Sure, I'll move." Kurt started to turn, but Burt stopped him.

"Here, just sit up a little and I'll slide in." Kurt did and Burt moved so Kurt was sitting on your lap.

"Dad, no I'm too heavy." Kurt protested.

"No you're not. You know, I miss holding you on my lap." Kurt was silent as Burt wrapped his arms around his son.

"Me too." He finally whispered. Then the dam broke and he started to sob. He turned, snuggling against his father's chest and let his dad hold him, rub his back, and murmur soothing nonsense in his ears.

"I know its been a rough month for you, Kurt. But I'm always here for you. I love you."

"I love you, too." He sobbed. "I was so scared I was going to lose you." Kurt clung tighter.

"I know. It's all okay now. You've been holding us together for so long now, its my turn. Let it go."

Burt had no idea how long the two of them sat like that. Kurt cried more than Burt had ever seen him cry. He cried until he had no more tears left and fell asleep, exhausted, against Burt's chest. Burt didn't have the heart to wake him.


End file.
